la dee dah dah

gotta love those times when you know you have so much to do over the course of the next 24-48 hours...and yet, you can't do anything to get yourself ahead of the game just yet. so you're left sitting...and waiting...and reminding yourself of how little fun you are going to have the next day or 2!

yeah!


...by the way, i apparently missed the memo that applications for degrees were due by october 14th. my bad.

"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

time to be done with the school crap-o-lah

so overwhelmed with everything right now. so much to do...so little time. so many choices...so many seem right. assuming i go to every single one of my classes the rest of the semester (which those of you who know me well, know that's not gonna happen) then i have 23 days of school left...in my life. and honestly, i don't even have that many more projects to do that are out of the norm for me. it's just that i don't want to do them.

then i'm also stressing because i would love to have a producing job as soon as i graduate--or earlier if that's how it works out. but i just don't want to commit to something if there will be something better that comes a little later...you know? the dilemma is that my director told me that my news director wanted to talk to me about possibly producing the new 10 pm wb show. now i'm not sure i want to stay at kptm or not, but this show really has no format and i would love the challenge of making a success out of something brand new. if it worked out, i don't think i would have a problem getting a job later in life.

but if it tanks, then what do i do? will 7 still want to hire me if i now have a cancelled show on my resume? will anyone? or will they take the chance on me because i have the experience? aaargh.

and i can't forget about how allen told me that mr. dean is willing to help me get a job. do i even want to stay in omaha? i know i know, i shouldn't complain about (possibly) having too many options for a job when i haven't even graduated yet, but i just don't want to make the wrong decisions, you know? dlgluwoikmvnfdvnfdl;


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

Pros and Cons of the World Series...

• Go to go to work later than scheduled: PRO
• Edit one VO the entire time there: CON
• Extra time to finish work for school: PRO
• Extra hours at work when I could be sleeping: CON
• Numerous rounds of Dutch Blitz: PRO
• 6 1/2 hours of wasted time: CON
• Show cancelled before game ends: PRO
• Speeding ticket while hurrying home: CON
• Nice cop who saves me $50: PRO
• Still have to take $75 class: CON

Thus....
I honestly have no desire to ever watch a World Series Game again in my life. Those fucking Astros suck donkey balls and if they win tonight I will seriously head to Steers and Queers-ville and kick each one of them in each one of their nuts...individually. Fuckers.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

why me?

do you ever wonder if it's worth it? is all the time spent trying to better yourself really going to mean anything to "the man"? are the sleepless nights spent contemplating miniscule changes in your work worth a possible job 5-10 years from now? does it make sense to stress yourself out to the point of exhaustion and disease just so that you can hopefully make the tiniest of impression on someone who might have a slight acquaintance with another person who would consider giving you an interview if the situation arises?

i find myself wondering that sometimes. i can't free myself from 100% of the concerns, but it's days like today that remind me that it's the times when you pay no attention to the impression you make on people that will actually leave the best impressions of them all.

be yourself at all times. easy to say...can be darn hard to do. not to say that i am a fake person who is constantly concerned with what people think of me. but i am the kind of person who's aware of my surroundings--especially when i'm in the presence of someone who(m) i respect professionally. long story short...although you can't control all concerns regarding how you come off to people in your industry, just be yourself and it will quite possibly be the best side of you.

randomness, i know. but i'm so taken aback by the circumstances that i've just been made aware of...whether it means as much as i think it means or not.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

the crazies are calling

uhhh...sitting here on the computer wasting the night away and a song popped in my head. so, of course, i started singing it. about 1/2 second into the song, however, i realized that it was the spice girls. not exactly sure where it came from or, more importantly, what in the hell is wrong with me. all i know is that derek had a good laugh. guess that's a good thing, right?


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

optimismfest

the people that surround me on a day to day basis never cease to amaze me. everything from the way they find comfort in just being who they are, to the times when they go out of their way to help other people.

example, last week i was stressed to the max about what i was going to do about my money situation (luckily my mom is an amazing woman who would give anything to help me when i'm down and out). but at the time i had no idea that she would be willing to help me out, and so i was trying to get input from others about ways to earn some extra cash...and fast.

the normal responses of plasma donation and plato's closet came up, and we left class no better than when we began. however, like 3 days later, this chick calls me when i'm at work and tells me that her roommate works at younkers and that they pay people cash on the spot to help them out around the holiday season. by this time i had talked to my mom and got things worked out, but she didn't know that. she just randomly heard her roommate talking about it and then she thought of me and how that information would help me out right now.

i know it's something that really is nothing. but, to me it could have been everything. she was probably getting ready to go out that night, and honestly, her life would be the same whether she called me or not. but the point is that she did call me. she wasted 3 minutes of her friday night to call an acquaintance from school who could benefit from information she had.

maybe you're all wondering why this means so much to me, especially if i don't NEED the money anymore. well, i'm not sure i have an answer for that one right at this very moment. i guess it just goes along the lines of how i admire people for the little--and big--things they do every day.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

found a halloween costume...can't wait for it to get here! going to a costume party the friday before and then just dressing up that monday simply cuz i don't have to work and dressing up is fun! think this is the earliest i've chosen a costume ever! used to head up to shop-ko the afternoon of the 31st to pick it up. way to go planning ahead.

thats all for now. laguna is on.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

monday night crack in todd's room

hi. my name is jennifer kucirek, and i watch laguna beach.

i think that we need to start a LBA (laguna beach anonymous) group so that we can all find a safe place to talk about our addiction to the show and help each other get over it. maybe these blogs are a way to do that. i'm feeling brave right now, so i will share my story with the rest of you:

as i was starting my junior year of college at uno, my friends and i heard about this new reality show. just like people who casually try smoking weed and get addicted, we casually started watching laguna beach. in all honesty, we knew it was wrong; we knew we shouldn't have been doing it. but it just felt so right...so safe and comfortable.

so the weekly hits of laguna beach grew from that casual use, where we just kind of stumbled across it, to planned weekly gatherings to watch the show. after class, we all drove to zack's dorm--i guess the thought of getting caught was kind of exciting back then. then the rest of the night was a blur. i don't even know where time flew once we turned to mtv.

i've lost so much of my life to this addiction.

after the first season ended, i thought that i would have enough time to get over the fucking "real orange county" kids. a few months would pass before the new season was set to begin, and besides, it was going to focus on kristen who i couldn't stand in the first season. but it was that damn hour-long "catching up with laguna beach" episode that caught me. i thought that i could just watch it to see how college was treating stephen, lo, lc, trey, deiter, and the rest of the gang.

but it was a trick. and as soon as i turned it on, i was hooked once again. now i've settled into a life of one hour monday night football/one hour laguna beach. i hit my all-time low about a month ago. i got to work early because my lab was short that day, and as i flipped through the channels i heard the oh-so-familiar sounds of hilary duff music and the roaring surf underneath high-pitched snotty voices that can only come from 17 and 18 year old girls. i tried to change the channel, but it was no use. the next half hour was spent with one eye on the monitor and one on the hallway to make sure no one came in.

it's pathetic, i know. but i also know that there are people out there with stories just like mine...some are even worse. those of us that are addicts, we aren't proud of our ways. but now that we can admit to ourselves and to the people around us that we do, in fact, have a problem, we can begin the healing process. so i invite anyone out there who is a laguna beach addict to come forward when the time is right. tell your story and maybe you will be the one to help someone else come to grips with their addiction. good luck to all of you.



"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

road trip...football...alcohol

huskers...tomorrow...yeah woo! for those of you who will be in lincoln with me, it's gonna be a kick ass time. for those of you who aren't, you should be!

GO BIG RED! please don't let me down...


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

could have been being productive...ah well

top ten thoughts:

10. 8:00 soccer games are lame because derek can't come.
9. i like derek.
8. when good situations come into your life...and you did nothing to put yourself in that position...it is a little unnerving. shouldn't be, but it is.
7. i met a woman today who said that she wants to make as much money a year as her age...if that were the case, and i worked full time, i would be 14.
6. it looked like z. taylor took a trip to california on the off week. did him some good.
5. two people i know are going to be REALLY old on sunday.
4. kristen made out with jessica's crush. jessica hung out with alex and taylor. steven and lc are moving to la. those crazy kids.
3. it bothers me when people are nice to your face, but sometimes act wierd when you are around. especially when you know for certain they talk about people behind their backs.
2. told derek i would only stay in omaha if i were at 7...maybe?

and jennie's number one thought of the day...

1. the packers need to stop sucking. lauren...todd broke up with you so the pack will start to win. tough luck kid.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."

this is prolly a bad idea

just counted the number of days until i am finished with school...that's right....37...and it's only that many if i actually go every day! remember senioritis from high school? WAY worse in college let me tell ya. because the thing is, it never really stopped for me when i got to college. and it has slowly gotten worse until the point in which i'm at a new all-time low. meh...at least a C in all my classes get's me across that stage december 16.



"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."