musings on an evening with the FOX

why is it that people seem to think that they are the only people in the world who REALLY matter? i seriously don't understand how someone can sit there and lie to another person's face and really believe that it is making them look like a better person. here's the thing...if you're lying and someone calls you out on it, chances are pretty high that they have some evidence proving their perspective. so just don't lie about it. admit you're at fault and then try to save face by doing that unthinkable act...apologize!

it seems to me that our culture is socialized to either overuse the term, "i'm sorry" to the extent at which you can't believe the person behind the apology because you know that they're simply saying it to get you out of their face for the time being. the other spectrum is that we don't say it enough. you know...there's those times when you can absolutely see the other viewpoint and you realize that your old perspective no longer makes sense in the argument. it seems as though we're too damn full of pride anymore to admit that we were wrong. no one expects anyone to have the correct answer to everything at anytime of the day...so don't have that expectation of yourself. i'm assuming everyone who reads this is human...we make mistakes. we make homonym errors in our papers that are otherwise perfect. that's life. get over it.

on another note...got to thinking today about getting away for awhile. the idea rehatched when i realized that as much as i want to continue to the next stages in life, there are things that are only once in a lifetime chances. not sure about what that means or how it's going to play out...but it seems logical to end my college career, lease, and local job at the same time and move on. make a clean break, you know? maybe i'll talk to allen about getting in touch with wally dean or something? i dunno.

the world just has so much to offer...but so does omaha. i'd probably have to say that what i can gain from traveling for awhile and living in new environments is about equal to what i will gain once derek and i settle down for the rest of our lives. the dream is still to make it in one of those dream towns...new york, chicago, boston, washington, d.c., etc., and then convince derek that we should build our lives together there. will it happen that way? probably not. he has no intention of leaving the 'ha. bummer. that hurts. we'll see, though.

by the way...i'm all about saying "peace out" lately. lame. for why? meh.


"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."