long stuff should know to stop being long and hurry to be short-er-ish-like

syracuse came into my head today. and new york. its been awhile since the feeling about it all came into me. you know, the whole part where i get shivers because i know that it will help me achieve my goals more than virtually any other path.

the dream was to be an orangeman for so many years. pussied out. instead i met my best friend and became a maverick. do i have regrets? the jury is still out on that one, but i'm pretty sure i do. who knows what drake could have done for me? but then again, who knows what i've gotten out of uno that drake could have never offered me? that's the thing with choices...obvious...but so hard to see sometimes.

so many reasons to go. so many reasons to stay. a future full of contradictions.

the boy and i are good now, though. still problems because life is like that. but he seems to love this crazy kid i've turned into and i figure i should hold on to him because who knows if i can trick anyone else. on a serious note, though, the kid believes in me...without fail. not quite sure if i've ever had that before. the fam was supportive, but success wasn't good enough. none of that matters to him. its a new feeling and the last 3 1/2 years haven't even been enough to get used to it. but i'm warming to it like k-y jelly on zack's little buddy.

success. ha. done with that shit. too much stress involved in it. gonna try the whole happiness thing instead. should be more fun than a life driven by the desire for winning. who knows, though? maybe i'm more fucked up than i thought. that would suck

by the way, this chick at work had a shirt that said fnb Track and Field because her hubby works at first national and she's helping them at the corporate cup run (i think). and this other kid was like, "f-n-b."? i 'bout died b/c i thought he was randomly calling her an effin b---. guess you don't know 'em but i thought it was some funny shit. meh.

tired. didn't write about the newscast. went well. surprising but pleasing. loss of sleep over the last few nights paid off. should be a good season. tune in if you're in omaha-ish. live, wednesdays at 4, cox channel 17. replayed a few other times-ish. not sure when exactly. also, you can check out my shit projects throughout the course of the semester at:

http://avalon.unomaha.edu/broadcas/

sorry i can't make it a link. dumb on the html shi-oot. that's right, i said -oot at the end rather than -ot or -at. just trying something new. oh yeah, and about the video on there...not so good although i got a 49/50 on the first one. meh...no complaints i s'pose.



"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."