one more
back at school...possibly for the last first day of school of my life. should i be celebrating? or is it just too damn scary of a thought to be excited at this point in time? i really haven't decided yet.
i'm really trying to stay positive about the whole future thing. i mean, that has never been a problem for me. on the other hand, i have always had a pretty good idea about what that future entailed. now i have no idea....for the most part. i feel as though i have been counting down the minutes until this day, and now that it's here i wish that i could turn back the clock. just a little bit. not to when i was 13 because all the girls wanted to have sex with me then (right miss?). but back to when everything made sense. every aspect of my life was lined up just right so that i was convinced that i was being daring while always staying completely comfortable.
but virtually every moment that has changed my life in some way or meant anything significant to me happened when i wasn't in that comfort zone. i think lauren wrote in one of her posts that she needs change and new surroundings to really challenge her. maybe everything i'm happy with is actually just mediocrity. i mean, what will happen if i challenge myself by getting away from this comfort rut? on the one hand there could be an ending filled with pain and heartache. on the other, i could gain everything i've ever dreamed of.
no decisions yet, we'll just have to play it by ear for now.
"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."
posted by Jen @ 10:51 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
that's so funny because someone else asked me that exact same thing not too long ago (as in within the last yearish). ummm...my answer is that it is "play it by ear" meaning that i will make my decisions as they come based on everything i am hearing from people and feeling at that point in time. but i'm only saying that is the correct answer because it is how i say it...
so i have to admit that i am a little biased.
It's definitely 'play it by ear', as in how people with musical talent can just hear music and play it on an instrument without actually knowing the sheet music, just figuring it out on the spot. They play it by ear. Do I win a prize?
As I am someone who is so eager for change I have a hard time seeing how it scares others. However, my life never got any better by staying the same, and I'm sure looking back on it, it's the risks in life that have changed yours for the better as well. Sometimes you make mistakes, and there will be many tears to be shed along the way, but in the end it's worth it. As long as you make yourself happy, everything else will eventually fall into place.
Post a Comment
<< Home