kookookatchoo

back in omaha. is that a good thing or a bad thing? just kidding. it is good for the most part. i missed all the normals while i was away.

too bad the summer is almost over. lauren leaves this week and brie leaves next week. andy and nadia already left. school starts monday for those of us a la uno and thursday for creightonians. back to the books. back to busy schedules. back to reality.

on the surface it seems like a bummer to end this great summer. honestly, i would say that it is the closest thing to that first summer that i have experienced. not a ton of drama. lots of amazing times with fantastic people. tons of laughs. but when i think a little deeper about it, i realize that maybe it isn't such a bad thing for it to be over. we have our futures to look forward to and all of the memories to keep us company as we make our way through any tough times. rather than crying about the end of a great summer, we should be thankful for getting the chance to experience it.

along these same lines, i have decided to take my gre and apply to grad school at syracuse. i know what is in store for me if everything works out as well as what i may be risking by doing this. but how can i go through life knowing that i took the safe way? the easy way? if i take a leap of faith and fall flat on my face, at least i tried. if one day i attain everything i desire in a career and then i am forced to give it all up, at least i did it; even if it only lasts one day.

i dunno. i'm rambling now. but for some reason everything just seems so clear to me. why wouldn't i do everything in my power to achieve all of my lifelong dreams? why should i wallow in the present about something i may honestly have no control over in the future? how in the hell did i get on this topic when i began my post with complaining about the end of the summer? why am i still writing this? what in the hell do you people see in me that makes you want to keep me around?

rarrgh!



"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."