i'll have the me, with a little jen on the side...

do you ever sit and think about the astronomical amount of time each of us spends thinking about ourselves? seeing as though i have never spent a significant amount of time in a foreign country (i was in canada for 3 days when i was 16), i honestly have no clue whether this is a characteristic of all mankind or merely a phenomenon found in the united states/western, materialistic cultures. but either way, there is an enormous number of people who spend the greater part of their lives thinking about themselves.

i don't want to come off as though i am pointing fingers at anyone in particular by saying what i am about to say, because believe me, if anyone is guilty of self-involvement it is me. you see, the main reason i chose to start a new website is because my previous attempts were chock full of me, myself, and i. i'm rather sure that someone could count the number of posts in which i am not fully engaged in myself on one hand. this is something that i am trying to work on within myself.

working in media has opened my eyes to the real travesties that are constantly occurring around the world; and although i am not any sort of activist or philanthropist, i have come to the realization that there are more important things in life to concern myself with rather than why my boyfriend wants to spend saturday night without me. but no matter how much i preach this, i still can't get away from the whole "me" factor. because if i allow myself to be 100% honest, i want to live this way because i know that is what a "good person" is like and i want to be seen as a "good person."

this entire thought process disgusts me because i am at the realization that i am completely self-absorbed. i have my little bubble; i live for myself. it is despicable. but that's me, i guess. and i am trying.

"no i won't cry on the outside, anymore."